Large Families and Intellectual Capacity

One of the most fundamental principles in Judaism is that although all the commandments are intended for a person’s ultimate happiness in the World to Come, every commandment also carries significant benefit for a person in this world. Some commandments reveal their benefit even at a superficial glance, such as the commandments of family purity¹ and observing Shabbat². Others require deep contemplation and extensive study to uncover their benefit in this world.³

A well-known commandment in Judaism is the commandment “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth”—the commandment of “Be fruitful and multiply.”

This important commandment, the first in the Torah, is explained in depth in the book Aruch HaShulchan. Here are its words:⁴

*"When the Holy One, blessed be He, created His world and created man male and female, it is written: ‘And God blessed them, and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it.’⁵ And similarly, after the Flood, God blessed Noah and his sons as it is written:⁶ ‘And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.’

For it is the will of the Holy One, blessed be He, that the human species should multiply for the settlement of the world, as the prophet said: ‘He did not create it in vain, to sit in its void.’⁷ And when Israel was exiled to Babylon, the prophet Jeremiah sent to them: ‘Take wives, and beget sons and daughters.’⁸ That is to say, do not say, ‘Since we are in exile, why should we increase seed?’ Rather, you are obligated to fulfill the commandment just as Hashem, our God, commanded, and Hashem will act according to His will through us.

It is a positive commandment upon every man of Israel to take a wife and fulfill the commandment of procreation. Therefore, the Torah repeated and reaffirmed this commandment to Noah after the blessing ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ commanding him and his sons according to the Torah: ‘And you, be fruitful and multiply; swarm in the earth and multiply in it.’⁹ This verse constitutes a commandment, and it is the first blessing.¹⁰ And it is a very great commandment, for the continuation and settlement of the world depend upon it. Therefore, even one who fulfilled the commandment and whose children died is obligated to take a wife and procreate again, as will be explained. The reason is that the commandment is for the purpose of settling the earth,¹¹ and if they died, the settlement has not been fulfilled.¹²

Thus, when King Hezekiah did not wish to take a wife and have children because he foresaw through Ruach HaKodesh that his descendants would not follow the proper path, the prophet, in the name of Hashem, informed him that he would die in this world and not live in the World to Come. And he said to him: ‘Why enter in the ways of the Holy One, blessed be He? What has been commanded, you must fulfill, and what is right before Hashem, He will do.’¹³

As our sages said:¹⁴ anyone who does not engage in procreation is as though he sheds blood, as it is written: ‘Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall his blood be shed.’ And it is juxtaposed with: ‘And you, be fruitful and multiply.’ Likewise, it is as if he diminishes the divine image, as it is written: ‘For in the image of God He made man.’ And again: ‘And you, be fruitful and multiply.’ And it causes the Shechinah to depart from Israel, as it is written: ‘To be to you God, and to your offspring after you.’¹⁵ When your seed is after you, the Shechinah rests. If there is no seed after you, upon whom will it rest—on the trees or the stones?¹⁶ And anyone who remains without a wife remains without joy, without blessing, without goodness, without peace, without Torah, and without a protection wall, and is not called a person at all, as it is written: ‘Male and female He created them, and blessed them, and called their name Man.’¹⁷ For a man without a wife is half a body. When he marries a wife, his sins are annulled and he is perfected. As it is written: ‘He who finds a wife, finds good, and obtains favor from Hashem.’¹⁸ For he is then distanced from thoughts of sin and is attached to his household, thereby bringing delight to Hashem."

Thus ends the words of Aruch HaShulchan, in which we are commanded to bring forth children and settle the world. And even if a person has many sons and many daughters, the commandment is not fulfilled until he brings both a son and a daughter into the world.¹⁹ And as it is written in Isaiah: ‘He did not create it in vain, to sit in its void!’²⁰

Our sages, of blessed memory, taught that it is proper for a person to excel in this commandment, according to the will of the Creator to settle the world He created. Therefore, even after a son and daughter are born, having fulfilled the commandment of ‘Be fruitful and multiply’ in principle, one should increase further in sons and daughters, as is customary among observant Jewish families.

In particular, the Talmud teaches that hastening the redemption depends upon increasing procreation, for: ‘The Messiah will not come until all the souls in the [upper spiritual reservoir] have been completed.’²¹ That is, until all souls awaiting to descend into this world are born.

Criticism of the Commandment of Procreation and Response

This commandment has faced many attacks from various sources, claiming that having many children harms the well-being of the children. The critics assume that in a large family, the parents cannot invest properly in educating all the children and preparing them to succeed in life.

The well-known response of the sages of Israel is that it is unthinkable that the Creator’s commandment would result in harm. On the contrary, every commandment has benefit in this world.²² Therefore, surely in the multiplication of offspring, there is benefit also for the parents, for the nation, and for the children themselves—a response often met with ridicule by the critics.

However, in December 2010, an interesting study was published by Prof. David Tzuriel and Dr. Gila Rokach of the School of Education at Bar-Ilan University,²³ which fully proved the truth of the constant response of the sages of Israel.

Prof. Tzuriel notes that due to the assumption that the more children a family has, the less time parents have to invest in them, experts and educators believed that children from small families are smarter than children from large families. However, the research results proved the opposite.

According to him, previous researchers did not take into account the fact that older siblings play a significant role in the development of younger siblings, which has a wonderfully positive effect on their own development as well.

“We have many stereotypes about Haredi families, but if we look at them without prejudice, we see a high level of mutual help and responsibility,” says Prof. Tzuriel. “The Haredi parent gives the older children more responsibility, mainly because they need their help. The older children have a role; they feel like little parents, and therefore develop abilities.”

Tzuriel explains: “There is a theory of Prof. Feuerstein that intellectual development depends on the level of mediation a child receives. ‘Level of mediation’ is the ability of the teacher to focus the child, give meaning to the stimuli presented, encourage thinking and action, and demonstrate structure. Children who know how to mediate to their siblings, while learning themselves, learn far better than others. They absorb quickly and improve their results rapidly. They know how to learn and benefit from their learning. Children in large families, naturally—through household management—know how to learn.

“In fact, what we examined were mediation processes between siblings. We filmed interactions of siblings in large families versus small families. We had an older sibling teach the younger sibling and play with them, and then analyzed the children’s behavior.

“We found a very interesting result. In large families, siblings consistently provided more mediation. This means their teaching ability was better. They could focus their younger siblings and gave more meaning to learning—thereby contributing greatly to the development of the younger siblings. They also developed very advanced abilities themselves, which is fascinating, like little teachers.”

This study disproved the claim that children in large families have lower intellectual ability because supposedly each child receives less parental attention,” explains Tzuriel. “The results pleasantly surprised us. In fact, we found that a higher number of children indirectly enhances learning ability.”

The study found that in large Haredi families, the siblings’ mediation level is higher than in small families, whether Haredi or secular, and consequently their ability to learn and improve intellectually is greater. In such families, older siblings take on more responsibility and provide younger siblings with principles, rules, and guidelines. Moreover, they teach younger siblings how to exercise self-control and monitoring. The behavior of older siblings gives meaning to the younger siblings and focuses them on subjects and tasks.

No differences were found between small Haredi and small secular families, but there was a clear correlation between adherence to commandments in all families and the use of sibling mediation. That is, the more observant the family, the higher the level of sibling mediation. Apparently, values of education in observant families encourage children to give, compromise, and care for younger siblings. Therefore, in families strict in mitzvah observance, there is a higher level of sibling mediation.

Another finding of the research revealed that in observant families, parental investment in children is higher. Tzuriel and Rokach claim that in these families, “The level of enrichment at home is higher. There is more support for children, more stimuli, and more emotional support. This may be because in religious families there are study commandments, while in secular families these roles are delegated to external frameworks—like schools or clubs.”²⁴

It has indeed been shown that family size positively affects the children’s future.

Children and Economics

Yisrael Leibman, CEO of the nonprofit Mekimi, which assists families in overcoming financial crises, rejects claims that having many children causes financial difficulties.

In an interview, Leibman surprisingly stated: “Our statistics show exactly the opposite of the claim that family financial crises result from having many children. We treat hundreds of families, and families with five, six, or eight children are in better condition than families with only one child!”

Leibman asserts that in development towns and peripheral areas, families with few children face greater difficulties. “This is not mathematics, but a fact of life. Financial status is individual and may also relate to matters of faith, luck, or one’s job. But ultimately it is not determined by the number of children. Clearly, there are families in Bnei Brak with many children in financial difficulty, but those are cases where they decided to study rather than work, and that is their decision.” He adds from experience that there is no link between financial strain and the number of children, but rather proper management. “Children, as they grow, help more and assist in managing the household. Therefore, one can certainly say that children are joy, not a headache.”²⁵

This is further supported by testimonies from many mothers, who state that the main difficulty in raising children is with the first, second, and third. But from the fourth onward, everything becomes much easier. The children occupy and play with each other, furniture and other items are passed from child to child, and living together in the same room teaches them to share and compromise, preparing them for life’s challenges. Such children are not spoiled; they do not grow up with the sense that everything is owed to them. In adulthood, they feel more obligated to honor their parents, and the cost of each additional child is significantly lower than the cost invested in each of the first children.

Footnotes / Sources:

¹ On the wonderful benefits in bodily health, domestic peace, marital fidelity, excitement, and marital renewal, see in depth Mafteachot LeChaim, chapter “Contrasts Shorten vs. Personal Harmony” and chapter “Breaking Routine.”

² On the meaning of Shabbat and its benefit in this world, see Mafteachot LeChaim, chapter “The Seventh Dimension—The Spirit in Rain.”

³ Examples can be found in Mafteachot LeChaim, chapter “Spiritual Search.”

⁴ Aruch HaShulchan, Even HaEzer, Siman Alef, S’if Alef.

⁵ Bereshit 1:28

⁶ Ibid., 9:1

⁷ Isaiah 45:18

⁸ Jeremiah 29:6

⁹ Bereshit 9:7

¹⁰ Rashi on Bereshit 9:7

¹¹ Isaiah 45:18

¹² Yevamot 62a

¹³ Berakhot 10a

¹⁴ Yevamot 63b

¹⁵ Bereshit 17:7

¹⁶ Yevamot 64a

¹⁷ Bereshit 5:2

¹⁸ Proverbs 18:22

¹⁹ Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer, Siman Alef, S’ifim 5–6): “Once a person has a male and female, he fulfills the commandment of procreation…”

²⁰ Isaiah 45:18

²¹ Yevamot 63b

²² See in depth in Mafteachot LeChaim, chapter “Spiritual Search.”

²³ Tzuriel, D. & Rokach, G. (December 2010). Mediated Learning Experience as a Vital Mechanism Enhancing Cognitive Modifiability in Large versus Small Families. Paper presented at the 6th International Conference of the Israeli Association for Research in Jewish Education: Challenges in Jewish Education: Cultural Vitality, Bar-Ilan University.

²⁴ Zofia Hirschfeld, “Research: More Children – Smarter Children,” Walla!, 23.12.2010

²⁵ Beni Toker, Arutz Sheva website, 28 Cheshvan 5773